INTRODUCTION

Look, let's get to the bottom line. Your kid is in trouble. Their anger is causing a problem at home and probably at school and in the community. You're in trouble too, because you do not know what else to do for your kid. You've lost confidence in your child and you've probably lost confidence in your parenting skills. If this isn't true then there isn't much point in continuing to read this book (unless you're curious).

If you are still reading this, it's because you are interested in what this book has to offer. It is hoped that you can expand on the ideas and give it life.

Parenting is not an exact science. It requires common sense, good judgment and a good dose of intuition. This book will hopefully validate the many good things you are already doing as well as provide guidance in areas you require assistance.

The following pages contain information, advice, resources, and most importantly, a collection of interesting exercises to guide you in your parenting. It can be read in the order it was written or you can turn to the sections that are relevant to you. Let me say from the onset that this book is only as good as the effort you put into the exercises.

Some of the material presented is repetitive but it is done for two reasons. First, I do not expect anyone to read this book cover to cover (at least in the first go around). Secondly, good ideas are simply worth repeating.

Chill Out is the underlying theme for this book. It means to calm down, rethink your position, to take time out to do whatever it takes to avoid inappropriate behaviours when angered. When we, as parents chill out, we can begin to be role models to our children and hopefully provide them with solutions when they are angry.

I do not expect you to agree with everything in the book. You have your own opinions and if they work, stick with them. Great! You know the situation best. However I believe that there are a number of ideas from this manual that will jump out at you. When this happens, seize the moment, get excited and take action. Remember… you can become the parent you want to be.

You are reading this book because you think your kid is important. I wrote it because I think you, as a parent, are important.

Good luck!

Ray Ali

OVERVIEW

Section 1: About Anger
A brief description of the characteristics of anger. It also contains general guidelines on how to respond to your teen's anger.

Section 2: Understanding Your Teen's Anger
A number of relevant and informative questionnaires your perception of your teen's anger. It is strongly advised that you complete this section before you attempt the exercises in the following sections.

Section 3: Are You an Angry Parent?
Examines your perception of your anger and provides ways to manage your anger. The premise here is that you must control your anger before you teach your teen to manage their anger.

Section 4: Parenting Styles
Provides different approaches to parenting. It also contains strategies to solve typical parent-teen problems.

Section 5: Parenting Tools
Focuses on effective communication and provides ways to build a healthier relationship with your teen. Topics include how to confront, establish rules, and administer consequences as well as building a relationship with the school system.

Section 6: Tricks of the Trade
A review of the previous sections. It is recommended that you return to this section when things are not going well with your teen.

Section 7: Parenting Exercises
This is the heart of the book. It contains 25 exercises for your consideration. Take your time and select the ones that are most relevant to you.

Section 8: Adolescent Development
This is a basic summary of the characteristics of children between ages 10-16.

Section 9: Information on Bullies, Gangs and Addictions
General information of interest to parents who are concerned that their teen is a bully or a victim, involved in gangs or controlled substances.

Section 10: Resources/Bibliography
This section contains a list of relevant information sources that are available to parents.